Lent: Day 1

Ash Wednesday at Good Sam

In February of 1987 I spent part of the Lenten season in Advocate Good Samaritan hospital in Downers Grove, recovering from a massive heart attack and emergency surgery. After several days in the Surgical Heart Unit, unconscious initially, I was moved to a hospital room where I was monitored continuously. On Ash Wednesday it occurred to me to visit the Good Sam Chapel to meditate and give thanks. So with the doctor’s approval I was “unplugged” and enjoyed the freedom of walking and riding the elevator by myself on the way to the Chapel. It was quiet there as sunlight and shadow mixed in the small space.

I sat relaxing, thinking of nothing in particular – just being. Then words began to form. I had so much to be thankful for, and to so many, starting with my wife, Ruth, the skilled doctors and nurses, and people who prayed for me. Had God given me a lesson in mortality, and a chance to redirect my life following this crisis and recovery? How could I be more deserving of the gift of life? I recognized that I was sometimes judgmental and quick to anger, and with this self assessment came the opportunity to change.

In retrospect did I really turn, and have I changed? And what does the 40-day observance of Lent have to do with it? My doubts remain. But Barbara Brown Taylor and others have written that observing Lent is like spring cleaning for the soul. In quiet reflection, remembering Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness (Luke 4:1-13), I feel we need to repent, and clear the clutter that keeps us from following our Lord. For all of us, every Lenten season is a preparation for new life through his life, death and resurrection. I need such a spring cleaning.

A Lenten prayer I like is one attributed to a Saint of the Eastern Orthodox Church, Ephraim the Syrian (AD 305-373).

O Lord and Master of my life, give me not the spirit of laziness, despair, lust of power, and idle talk.

But give rather the spirit of sobriety, humility, patience and love to thy servant.

Yea, O Lord and King, grant me to see my own transgressions and not to judge my brother, for blessed art Thou unto ages of ages. Amen.